Production Report 14a

Here is the link to the first page of my QRG. I think it turned out rather well, but I think there might be a bit too much sarcasm, but I'm not too sure.

Outline Item versus Adaptation of Outline Item 

1. For this adaptation, I used the form of a QRG to display the content from my outline. For example, I used short paragraphs and lots of spacing to make it easier to read. I also used quotes and images to summarize the goal/ purpose of the QRG.
2. I keep getting distracted while writing the QRG. I also had trouble coming up with a good hook, but I think the one I came up with works very well.

Production Schedule

Here is my schedule. Since the amount of time that we have to complete the project is so limited, and the time I have next week is also limited, I plan to do pretty much all the work this week. Next week will be specifically reserved for editing and revising my final project.

Cooggle

Reflection on Local Revision Process

This week was not as I expected, in the slightest. I expected to be much more stressed out about completing the project on time, but I realized that I pretty much completed my video last week and only needed to worry about editing.

• This week I feel that I really made a informative and well made video. I was able to re-record some audio, as well as take a few video clips and input them into the video. I think overall I was really successful at cleaning up the video.
• I think a few failures this week included procrastinating my blog posts. I waited until today to write them and it took a significant amount of my time. I also failed to follow some of my peer reviewer's advice, which I regret slightly because it is too late to implement it.
• I am nervous for next week because we have two weeks to complete an entire project, which I have done very little to prepare for. I really hope that I will be able to do a significant amount of work next week, but there are certainly no promises.
• I am confident that I put my best work into this project and that it produce the wanted results.

Peer Review 13b

For this peer review I looked at Jack Aulsen's standard college essay on the use of security in the US. His argument is that although security is important, the degree to which terrorism is used as an excuse is unacceptable.

1. I decided to make a suggestion about the flow of the essay, specifically about the large amount of paragraphs he used. I felt that there were too many and it was quite overwhelming to read. The flow in my mind was consistently interrupted.
2. I think combining a few of the paragraphs will make it easier for the reader to follow his excellent points. I also think it well help the reader connect adjunct ideas rather than separating them out.
3. I think I could take his amount of detail and add it to my own project; I definitely feel that it is lacking in exposition and could take example from Jack.

Peer Review 13a

For this peer review I looked at Ben Meyer's QRG, which was about the new SAT format. His QRG was sectioned very well and I thought his evidence was really great.

1. I decided to make a copy-editing suggestion for Ben, specifically about the language he used in the QRG. I suggested that he refined the language a bit to make it seem a bit more professional. I also suggested he clarify what he is arguing; is he saying that the new SAT is a bad solution, or is he suggesting an entire new solution.
2. I think changing the language would certainly add to the author's credibility, and make it seem more professionally written. I as think clarifying his argument will make the QRG more interesting and understandable.
3. I think I could take some tips from him about flow; my video essay is definitely lacking in that area. I also think I lack the conviction that he has, as in my video essay is just kind of boring and lacking in opinion. 

Editorial Report 13b

For this editorial report, I decided to compare my original list of images to the new list, which included images that are very important to the story. There are also images that act as more tools than evidence.

Original List versus New List

1) Not only are there new images in the list, but also the citations are more correct/complete. The images add more content to the the end product, the video, as well.

2) The types of images are also less of visual evidence, but more of examples or explanation tools than the original examples. For example, I use the definition of policy and controversy to help enunciate my points.

Editorial Report 13a

For this editorial report, I decided to look at the original audio for my ending and compare it to the re-edited version I recorded a few days ago. I think the final recording is much more indusive to my argument.

Rough Audio versus Final Audio

1) As for the content change, the new audio clip is much longer, and definitely has much more evidence to support my argument. I included more emotional reasons as well, which makes it even stronger.

2) For the form change, I decided to structure it in sections depending on the content. For example, I put pauses in between the talks about the current solution and my proposed solution on policy. I think it is much easier to follow when specific ideas are separated in the audio.

Revised Post to Peer Reviewers

Here is my final cut of the video. I have finished with content creation, and plan to do a few touch ups with editing. Otherwise, I am pretty confident in my project overall.

• I would like all peer reviewers to know that this is pretty much the final cut of the video. I have inputed all the content I plan to use, however, there are still some editing things that need to be done.
• I think that there are still some editing issues. For example, there a lot of awkward pauses, however, I am having issues distinguishing between the necessary pauses and the ones that are too long. I would be great if you guys could help by giving your opinions.
• I think I've included enough evidence that my argument is fully supported. I have multiple quotations as well as a lot of visual evidence. 

Reflection on Global Revision Process

This week went rather well. Although I am still having some trouble with the editing process, I think I have finally finished producing the main story.

• This week I was able to move forward with the main production of the video, specifically finding and editing the images I am going to use in the video.
• Procrastination got the best of me again this week, as I put off all the blog posts until the weekend. I also need to re-record the audio for my conclusion, which is going to take a good chunk of time.
• I have a small amount of catching up to do, but I am not too worried about it, because I am determined to produce a quality video.
• I think this project is definitely the hardest one yet, but I feel that this is because I am producing a 7 minute video instead of writing an essay.

Peer Review for Alexis Morrison

For this peer review I decided to peer review Alexi Morrison's Standard College Essay. Their subject, gender neutral pronouns, is a very important to me, and I thought she produced a respectful and well produced essay on it.

• I decided to make a content suggestion, specifically about their concluding paragraph and how they could increase the length.
• I think that taking a bit of the info they provided in both the introduction and the body paragraphs and maybe finding one more quote that would sum up all of these ideas. This would only make their argument stronger, as it reinforces their earlier claims.
• I incorporated ideas from other academic examples and discussions in class. A better concluding paragraph, as I've learned in my research for the previous project, really can make the difference between a successful and a failing essay.
• Again, I really admired their use of examples and quotes, and their word choice was very academic. It gave off a sense of knowledge and professionalism that most student essays do not.

Peer Review for Joshua Smith

For this peer review I decided to look at Joshua Smith's Rough Cut of his standard college essay. I think that he has a great start on the essay. It was very well written, and it explains the situation very
thoroughly.

• I decided to make a suggestion about the form conventions of a standard college essay, specifically about his decision to use subsections in the essay.
• I suggested that he remove these as they are not typical of a college essay. Instead, I think he should attempt to write some transitional sentences, so that his ideas can still be separate, but still connected. Changing this would just make the essay "more standard" than not.
• I used the other college essay examples we discussed in class, as well as my own experience writing an essay for project 2.
• I admired his use of examples; they were certainly plentiful, and they were very supportive of his argument. I certainly think that I could incorporate more examples and quotes to fill out my video essay.  

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

Here is the Rough Cut of my video. I think, although it is truly "rough", it shows my argument relatively effectively.

1. This is truly a rough cut. I haven't been able to do any editing on the last minutes of the video. I also decided to rewrite the end of my script which I haven't been able to re-record yet, so the video isn't as long as I wanted it to be.
2. I know that the editing and pauses are a bit awkward. I'm still trying to figure out a cadence that makes sense with the video. I would prefer if you focused on the content, like my argument and evidence, rather than that stuff.
3. I think that the exposition of the video, and the explanation of the situation, is really well displayed. I think I made it really easy to understand the issue without losing all the details. I also think I incorporated multiple quotes relatively well. 

Editorial Report 12a

For this editorial report, I decided to focus on the script that I was using for the video. I decided to add a bit more detail to substantiate my argument.

Selection from "Rough-Cut" vs Re-edited Version

1. The language in the script, I think, makes a bit more sense. There is also more evidentiary support for my argument against current public health and economic policies. 
2. The script is certainly more lengthy, but I also separated it into different paragraphs so each thought doesn't just flow right into one another. The pauses make it easier to read and think about.  

Editorial Report 12b

For this editorial report, I decided to take the small cut of the video I made last week and compare it to the length that I produced this week. The clip is significantly longer, and the edits/transitions are much cleaner.

Selection from "Rough Cut" vs. Re-edited Selection

1. There is significantly more content in the re-edited section, and I think that more of the story is revealed. It, overall, is a better representation of the current issue in Flint, Michigan.
2. I also removed the audio clicks, which were rather distracting, and the transitions between sections are much, much smoother. These edits make it easier to focus on the content, rather than on the issues with editing. I also added more images and audio.

Reflection on Production Week

This week was focused on further producing my essay, which is approximently half done. I am on track to finish the video next week, and am relatively confident in myself to produce a quality essay.

• I feel that this week I was able to lay down a great foundation, with the production of both audio and the list of sited images, for a good video essay. I also was able to produce at least half of the essay already, which puts me ahead of schedule.
• This week I had a few challenges finding motivation to produce anything and got stuck doing everything on the weekend.
• I think next week will be fine because I was able to catch up this weekend, but i am afraid that if I continue to procrastinate I will not be able to finish in time.
• I feel pretty average about the essay so far, but not as confident as I was at this point during the last project.

Peer Review 11b

For this peer review, I looked at Gaby Marty's Production Report. The way she took her raw content and transformed it into a great paragraph was really impressive.

• For this production report I decided to make a content suggestion, specifically about the inclusion of credible sources. 
• I suggested that she include more credible sources, perhaps from a psychological study analyzing the effects of physical punishment on child development. I think this will corroborate her argument of the negative effects of spanking, and therefore make it more credible.
• For this, I incorporated material from my experience in rhetorical writing, as well as the numerous conversations we've had in class about evidence and credible writing.
• I thoroughly admired the way she took her notes and transformed them into a greatly worded, convincing paragraph. I think I could be more straightforward in my own writing with my argument.

Peer Review 11a

For this peer review, I decided to peer review my classmate Malik Bullik. I looked at his production report, where he took a part of his script and made edits.

• I decided to talk about the form of the video genre in relation to his raw content.
• I suggested that he include more testimony from both the public and from the people who are proposing a solution. Evidence, specifically verbal evidence, is very important in a video essay in order to prove your point. Including this would help improve his argument against the solution proposed by Bernie Sanders.
• I incorporated material from the examples of video essays given at the begining of class, as well as the information given on the different types arguments in A Student's Guide
• I admired his direct tone in his script; rather than dancing around his point, he immediately suggested his opinion. 

Production Report 8b

For this project report, I decided to show the collection of cited images I gathered and the resulting first section of my video.

Here is the list of cited images

Here is the first section of my video

• A large component a video essay is obviously imagery, and the development of the list of images was very important to the production. 
• This portion of the production took a while because I had to look up all the information for each photo. 

Production Report 8a

This week I decided to focus on developing two parts of my video essay; the audio and the visual. This production report is about the script for my essay.

Here is the written script, which was on the coggle I wrote

And here is the recorded audio

• For the raw content I decided to use a coggle because it allowed me to put down my thoughts in relation to each other. Like I could section off each part of the video in written form. 
• I definitely had issues recording the audio this time. I just couldn't find the right cadence and had to re-record multiple times. I also had trouble finding the right words for the tone of the essay.

Reflection on Pre-Production Week

As I write this reflection, I am forced to realized that I did not delegate time very well this week. For future reference I must work more efficiently if I am to get anything done. 

• This week went well because I was able to get through a large amount of content fairly well. I was able to gather a multitude of sources and to take only the most important of content. I also think I was able to communicate that content through my content outline.

• This week, even though it felt like I was dedicating time everyday to working on the project, I seemed to be behind on everything. It felt like I was struggling to do anything. I also lost a significant amount of work through technological errors.

• If I start working immediately, rather than delaying for a few days, I think the ideas and the work will flow much more easily. However, I am still worried that I won't be able to complete all the work required of me.

• I think that the project has a lot of potential, but I need to get more focused if I want to bring that potential to the next level. 

Peer Review 10b

For this peer review, I decided to look at Emily Bond's production schedule. Her attention to detail was very impressive and she clearly cares about sticking to a schedule.

• I decided to do the production schedule activity and make a research suggestion. Although, her post didn't really need much help!
• In my suggestion, I said that it would be best to complete each portion of the project in one sitting. Otherwise, I've found, ideas seem to be rather adjunct and unconnected. It just sounds better all together.
• Again, I decided to incorporate some personal experience as well as previous research on the conventions of QRG.
• For myself, I think I should take Emily's attention to detail and honesty, and add it to my own production schedule. It is already pretty bare, but I think that I could learn from her and make it better. 

Peer Review 10a

For this peer review, I decided to look at Joshua Smith's content outline. For his college essay, he decided to write about the issue with fracking, a technique used to extract natural gas from the earth.

• In my review, I decided to discuss his use of evidence, which was very prevalent in his outline. He also explained the rhetorical strategies used in each article. However, I felt that he did not provide enough detail within the outline. He just put each example in the outline without explaining why it worked.
• I think that adding more information, even if it is just for himself, will help move the production process along. The sparse detail now will only make it harder later to produce viable content. 
• I used my own personal experiences as well as the feedback that Professor Bottai gave me on my own content outline for the last project. As Bottai said last time, the more you can outline and put down now, the less work you will have in the future.
• I think that his use of evidence is very impressive. I feel that I could include more evidence myself as it can only make my argument stronger.

Content Outline

This content outline is essentially my video essay in written form. It has my introduction/ history, the current situation, the aftermath and my own proposal for a solution. 

Coggle 

Production Schedule

Project three has become a large undertaking, not only because I plan on doing a video essay, but also because there is so much content on the Flint Water Crisis to read and understand. However, with this schedule, I think it has become a bit more manageable. As long as I stick to the schedule, I will be able to complete the video essay in time. 

Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

For project three, I have decided to tackle one of the largest environmental controversies in the past 5 years, the Flint Michigan Water Scandal.

Who is the Author?

• As an environmental studies major, a person who cares deeply for the environment around her, and a human rights activist, this event has hit home. The scandal has become a household name through media and public discussion for it's political implications. Magazines like Time and National Geographic, as well as well known newspapers like The New York Times and Washington Post, have covered the issue and spread the name far. It's possible to draw from these sources for a discussion of blame and politics, but for an actual explanation of how and why this occurred, it is better to draw from scientific sources, such as journals and researchers with authority.  A very important source that I've used over and over again is my high school mentor, who has taught me more about environmental issues than anything else. I plan to become a person who is dedicated to bettering the environment around her, be it through big environmental groups and projects, or just living more environmentally friendly myself. Learning from events now can help in the future.

• I personally have strong feelings towards subjects like this, and should avoid letting my bias against large company's and their ability to ruin wonderful and beautiful environments. I have always been environmentally conscious and my experiences growing up in a very liberal, progressive, and environmentally engaged town has taught me to hate big business and the disasters they create. Flagstaff, and the residents of, has never cared for fitting in and living in a life of luxury at the expense of others.However, as I mentioned earlier, it is more important to understand how this happened and how to fix it rather than assign blame for why it happened. This project is about solutions and why they are good or bad on a logical level, not on a personal level.

Who is the Audience?

• The audience for this event, so far, has been the entirety of the US. This has been because of the air time it has had on media thus far. The political implications of the event has captured a very large audience, but very little of the technical and environmental implications have been covered. I plan to discuss all three of these ideas for an audience that is looking for more depth in the issue. 

• This audience, after being exposed to the political turmoil that followed the event, might disagree with the causes and the proposed solutions because it goes against the beliefs of certain political parties and of big businesses. 

• I think they may wholly disagree with my proposals because of our opposite political beliefs. Just knowing that I am a liberal alone can cause a disagreement because of the precedence set by political rifts in our own government. In other words, democrats and republicans can't get along at all.

• As I mentioned previously, by avoiding being biased and proposing or rejecting proposals simply because they are for big business or are "too conservative". By providing logical reasons for my disagreement, I think I could manage to captivate the audience better.

• I would like to consider my father as a person who could benefit from being in my audience. He and I are almost total opposites, both politically and in social views. However, he is a big believer in logical arguments, and I think with using certain facts and statistics to substantiate the argument I would be able to convince him of the proper solution for this horrible tragedy.

What is the Message/ Purpose?

• I want to be able to convince my audience of the issues that come with big business and inform them of the solutions that have been denounced by political parties. I want them to understand the implications of these issues and I want them to motivated to do something about them. Finally, I want them to believe in their own power to prevent these things from happening.

• I think many of the people talking about this issue are only concerned about the political aspects of the issue and not the people of Flint, Michigan. I think they need to focus less on the controversy and more on the people who are being affected by the tragedy. There could be more testimony from them rather than the politicians involved. We need to know why they think this is happening, and what they think could be done to fix the overlying issues.  After all, it is their livelihoods and children that are being affected, not the politicians in Washington.

What is the genre?

• For this project I plan on using a video essay to present my argument that the proposed solutions to the Flint water problem.

• The audience for this genre is generally younger, from the millennial generation, because of the prevalence of video essays on Youtube. However, there are more older viewers that would be interested in this topic and they also have access to these websites.

• I have never made a video essay before and am really not familiar with the technology or the conventions of the genre.

• I am very worried that I will fail to produce a quality video and therefore fail to present a vail argument for project three. I need to get focused on how to produce a quality video and do some research.

• The most important conventions of a video essay are relevant pictures/ images, and quality audio. Both conventions help the viewer understand the topic better, and having confusing pictures or audio kinda ruins the whole experience.

When?

• In order to understand the current issue, we need to go back and understand previous disasters, like the Chicago river fire, or the BP oil spill, and how the government handled those situations through things like litigation and compensation. We also need to familiarize ourselves with regulations, like the Clean Water Act, or lack there of, that are in place to prevent these things from happening. Once we understand the precedence set by these things, we can begin to analyze how well, or how poorly, the officials in Flint, Michigan, plan to handle the situation.

• Large news channels, like NBC, CNN, ABC, and Fox, are all covering the issue, discussing things like how this all started, the people who have been affected, and who's to blame. They have even discussed the proposed plans to fix the disaster. Yet, many have yet to propose their own solutions.

• The many of the solutions consist of only immediate relief and do not take long term fixes into consideration, such as is proposed by Gov. Rick Snyder on this CNN Newscast. There is no mention of learning why this happened or how to fix it; only mentioning the issue and the need for immediate relief through bottled water and medical assistance. Another solution, posted on a blog intended to promote capitalism in all it's glory, proposes that the water system in Flint should be privatized because it would encourage more water testing and safety. In my opinion, this will make the situation much worse; private businesses are more likely to cheat on water safety and have no incentives to fix the problem. A final solution proposed is to first, locate the lead pipes that were contaminating the water, and let them grow a protective coating to protect the water in the future, as proposed on this NPR podcast. However, this is not a long term solution. These lead pipes need to be replaced with a metal that will not leech into the water, but that could take months, which is time that the people of Flint do not have.